black knight

Dear Black knight Erotica. Your corporate logo appears to be a female knight.

There is no such thing as a female knight.

you may call yourself black dame or black lady erotica.

emphysema

Today I was havin coffee with a mate when this skeezy guy came up with a bucket and asked if i would donate money for emphysema. when I said no he then proceeded (with no sense of irony) to ask me for a cigarette!! THAT i said yes to and then laughed and laughed

I was scouring the Internet for something totally unrelated when i discovered a sex toy website that had things that made my ass clench shut and moan whyyyyyy.
Firstly was the dog penis dildo


now I understand that gross people want to be fucked by their Great Dane's and whatnot

but I hardly think that after someone had sex with a dog they just couldn't go back to having sex with humans.


But i guess when unable to find a big ole hound to do the dirty this dildo will have to do in a pinch.

And I suppose that dog sex is just a crackpipes distance from horse fucking so i guess that's where this comes in




But this???


a whale penis dildo? Seriously!!!!
the websites description is great as well..

The Whale Penis is not just a hot piece of phthalate-free jelly material that measures 13" in length, it's the anatomically correct mold of an actual whale's penis. While we don't condone sex with animals, if you wanted to know what it's like to take in a huge hunk of cock, then this will definitely give you the satisfaction you've been craving for. It tapers from 3.5" wide at the base to 1.5" wide at the head. See if you can take in this large dildo and have a whale of a time at the attempt. This item weighs 3lbs.


its like "yeah so you wanna pretend your getting fucked by a whale...whatever..no judgement!"
I love the world today

poo dreams revealed!!!!!!!

i looked up my recent poo themed dream and found this!

A dream about poo (whether human or animal) is a lucky omen representing money, wealth and profits. The more embarrassing the situation in the dream, the better luck you will have with money.

its all about the ching ching for my bling bling

im gonna take a shit on your lawn

I had a dream last night that I couldn't stop pooing.
It was if my ass was a poo factory and the turds were coming out on a production line. In the dream i was incredibly concerned at the prospect of getting rid of the epic amount of pooing I had done. There was WAY to much the poo to go down the toilette. So I somehow got a big packing crate and picked up all the pieces of poo and sealed them in this box. Then I was carrying the box while riding on a motorcycle looking for somewhere to bury the box. As i came around a corner the box of poo was thrown from my hands and hit a group of cub scouts. The box burst scattering turds everywhere and knocking the group of cub scouts down like bowling pins. then it looked like the dying soldier scene from gone with the wind except it was cub scouts and poo...everywhere. My poo had given them bruises and black eyes and i was MORTIFIED

kevin rudd

well for those following overseas, Australia now has a new LABOUR prime minister!!!!! welcome kevin Rudd !!
he has a mean looking mouth and digs strippers! Go kevin!

is it just me or does tony abbot looks alot like bert from sesame street?